So… I know that the New Year has come and gone, but since my lack of sex on that night has come into discussion quite a bit since then, I feel it is pertinent to comment on the situation.
Long story short, guy I had been talking to for the 3 weeks prior (constant contact) was supposed to come find me. So we went over what I would be wearing and where I would be. We both agreed that I should wear no panties. I mean, when he found me we didn’t want to waste our time. 20 minutes to 12 I get a text asking where I was, I responded, and never heard from him again… EVER!
Admittedly my first thought was “Okay. I will stand here and look around” (after I laid one on my girl standing to my right). Then I as we moved from bar to bar, I kept him in the loop, but eventually got impatient and told him that it was a big let down and “Nice knowin’ ya.”
Yes, that was the girl in me. I said it out loud. Hi! My name is ——— and I think with my vagina on occasion. Cut me some slack though. All that build up to get my New Year ruined. However, my most important thought was…
"IF I WAS A HERM AND I HAD A PENIS TOO, I WOULD ASK THE DOCTORS TO TUCK THAT THING IN SO I COULD HAVE FUCKED MYSELF!"
I looked way to good not to have someone find his way up my dress that night.
On to the next.